what will you do
when everything you say is wrong
what will you do
when your expected to only do what is "right"
what will you do
when you get scolded for nothing you have done
(which is also considered wrong)
what will you do
when you get scolded for not responding properly
what will you do
when you expected to do things kindly when you got scolded from the same person
what will you do
when you got scolded again for not replying properly
what will you do
when everything you do is wrong and everything else is correct
what will you do

fed up, bottled up, said my points but it got drown by a shouting of her rights, gone into deaf ears, wanted to be helpful, wanted to be nice, but got harshed up, then later expected to be helpful volunteering. how much can one person take! i seriously wonder.

red wounds everywhere, legs looking horrible, soon whole body will be. those tiny stuff that are not seen through human eyes but leave a terrible mark on one's body. i'm afraid to sleep, i'm afraid to seat on anywhere.

life still goes on. every minute, every second without even concern about you. mentally exhausted for now. but studying will keep me accompany. at least i'm not alone, i got my books with me. at least i won't feel depress, others are worst then me. i have God, shelter, food, water, my life. i won't feel ignored. i rather be left alone for now. i won't be sad for myself. being sad wont make things better.

blogging to me, is an art of expression. no one can or should criticise on other people blog. its what you want to post, and what other want to see. the close button is always ready.

dunno why i tok abit this. randomness.

the nite is young. a pile of stuff i hav to complete. wishing the sun will not come out.

suddenly felt like blogging again.. haha.. wanted to change my blogskin, but as i look at it again.. i luv it! so forget abt changing it...

this sem i'm taking micro, macro, econometrics, communications and new media, southeast asia.. up to now, i think i'm loving what i am studying..

communication and new media is like so me, if i had more time to really search and find out about new stuff online.. haha.. i like to search online and know new sites about it.. and about the information age that we are embracing, the digital age and the importance of the interent. both the software and the hardware, the computers and the education, have to be there inorder for everyone to be in this part of the new age. but there are so so many limitations like language, income, age etc.. once we solve this, its like solving the whole puzzle! but its not as easy as it is written. i guess people can have many great ideas but the implimentations is where the bottleneck is.

southeast asia, the lecturers are oh so funny. haha.. i like how Dr Ikeya present the lecture, she's pretty, smart and witty.. haha.. and Dr Mrazek is very very funny! =) always will enjoy the lecture.. but one bad stuff is that lecture notes are only going to be posted after the lecture!!! I HAVE TO COPY ALOT OF STUFF! and barely concentrate at all.. sobz sobz.. my tutor Deborah is her first time taking a class, she's doing major this year. and we finished the first class in 45 mins? haha.. total was suppose to be 1 hr 45 mins.. sadly she did not explain about projects and essays.. guess she did not know she had to explain it.. =(

econs.. hmmmm.. shall not comment much.. haha.. jus tat macro i'm so dead, micro so boring and econometrics.. haiz.. haha..

need to try to get all A for my mod this sem, to pull it up to 4.2 le.. really hope i can. =)

These few days I have been very busy, going to work, out and not really resting much. haha. its funny how it always seem that i don't have time to cook or bake! argh! i want! haha. shall try my best to plan time for it. 10 more days till my japan trip, it seems so far, yet time passes just as fast or faster especially when you have something on everyday. haha.

Going english high tea tomorrow with my uncle, I have never been before, so will be looking forward in sipping my tea, and enjoying cakes.

Ah.. cakes again. they are lovely, but recently i have eaten so many many. going to be fat le.. >.<

and about the many cakes i ate just now, my stomach hurting.. haha. should not be so greedy next time.

hehe. today i had my birthday cake, its a very special one cause its made out of many different kind of cakes. and they are all from Cedele. hehe. i had Blueberry Hazelnut Cheese Cake, Carrot Walnut Cake, Strawberry Balsamic, Chocolate Banana Espresso, The Devil's Chocolate very fudge cake, Chocolate Truffle Cake.

let me give a short summary for each.. hehe.

Blueberry Hazelnut Cheese Cake
Smooth cheese cake, with chucks of blueberry and hazelnut topping. This cake has a light cheesey taste, and it blends well with the blueberry.

Carrot Walnut Cake
This cake live up to its name as Cedele's best seller. The cake is refreshing, moist and have a slight cinnamon taste with big chucks of walnut. My sister, my dad and I love it also.

Strawberry Balsamic Cake
There is cheese on the middle and side part of the cake. The side is layered with pistachio cream cheese. The top part is layered with strawberry jam, the cake has a new, light, moist taste which let one have a nice experience. another one of my sister and mine favorite.

Chocolate Banana Espresso
Two moist layer of chocolate sponge cake, with big chucks of banana and espresso cream in it. Top with a thick layer of chocolate. Chocolate plus banana will never go wrong! haha. My dad love it, and even showed his kidish side (wanting to have more even though he cant really eat alot of sweet stuff). haha.

The Devil's Chocolate very fudge cake
Two layer of chocolate sponge cake plus thick chocolate spread on the top, side and middle. Although it seems very chocolate, it gave a surprising light chocolate taste.. hehe. but i guess i ate too much cheese cake, so could not appreciate it much.

Chocolate Truffle Cake
Thick chocolate, with a small slice of cake at the bottom. A must try to all the chocolate lovers! Though it seems very rich, but this cake will not be very over powering (ni4).

Overall, we were all very delighted with this birthday cake. hehe. especially my dad and my sis. my dad kept smiling all the way. haha.

At first the cake was all brought at full price. But luckily when we were waiting for the cakes to be packed, I discovered that Suntec Cedele had a promotion, 2nd cake for 50% off! so i asked the cashier about it, and initially he said it was over, but i guessed he felt guilty so in the end he helped us change it. so good right. haha. so it was cheaper and from 5 cakes, we decided to get 6! haha.

Took alot of photos and videos for my birthday celebration. guess this year, my dad spent alot of cash on my birthday. hehe. but i love every bit of it. =)

=) the day have finally arrive. i'm 19th! haha. went out with pris today, tried the carrot walnut cake at cedele at wheelock place. nice le! hehe..

"moist carrot cake is finished with cream cheese frosting and generous amount of California walnuts. "

the prices of cake increase le, increase by $1 to $1.50. and pris told me the slice was smaller compared to raffles there. but its okey i guess.. its really their best seller le. cause when we got into the place, it was a full cake, but when we left, only left 4 slices like that! so fast, another reason could be because the place was full house bah.

went Canele to try their macarons, quite expensive le. one piece like $2.50 i think. we tried the lemon and rose de, it was a level lower then bakerzin's Foret Noir (Black forest) macarons. I still remembered the first time when i tried my first macaron with pris, it was that exact piece. Light, crispy, abit sweet, and clean finish ( like a very good wine.. haha) after trying that i fell in love with it. i can eat it over and over again. hehe. one was for $1.50

the second i brought macarons, it was at bakerzin again, for my dad's birthday. but this time, they did not have Foret Noir, so i got chocolate, coffee, almond. It was much thicker, and sweeter then the first one. abit too much, and my family said too sweet for them. abit of a let down.. >.<

so this is my third time! and i heard canele ones are the best. haha. we got orange, lemon, rose, violet (i think), 5 flavours. they were like my second experience, but was quite thick also. abit sad, considering people say its the best. so we went bakerzin to try the Forst Noir again. haha! but they dun have! so we tried opera instead. hmmm.. about the same as the canele le. oh well.. Forst Noir is simple the one and only best one. rain the whole whole day le! travelling was difficult, but i very long never go out with pris le.. enjoyed it.. hehe..

at nite, me and my family went long beach to eat dinner. we had clams, chilli crab, fried buns, sambal kangkong, oats prawns, bee hoon (got sauce de, with clams and mushrooms), and lastly orh nee! it actually was a set meal, but the nice lady allowed us to change the vegetable and the desert to sambal kangkong and orh nee. the clams was not bad le! the life one, was quite big in size. but when they cook it, it shrink hehe, there's bee hoon with it. it was not bad le! next came the oats prawn and sambal kangkong. the oats prawn was fresh, as the head could easier come off. but i find it quite oily le. then sambal kangkong was okey only.. next came the crab and the fried buns. the crab was big! haha. i ate the pincel! =) it was sweet and very nice! alot of meat.. haha! and fresh also i think. but i prefer my dad's chilli crab sauce, cause got add tomato sauce (sweeter) and got alot of eggs in it.. hehe. the fried buns were nice too! together with the sauce. next came the bee hoon, it tasted very much like hor fun, nice! haha. but i cant finish, cause full le. my sis help me finish. last was the orh nee.not bad not bad! better then alot of others le. but the bedok north one still the nicest, very yammy le.. haha. overall, we were very satisfied le. my dad even commented we should do this every now and then.. haha. the meal cost clost to $200 le, but we got vip (10% off) and a $10 oversea free calling card.

went parkway later to find cedele and buy my cake, even though the website said there is one branch at parkway, but sadly they don't have le. it's okey, saturday my dad bringing me to buy it. hehe! going to pick another nice cake le. looking forward to it!

this year's birthday was very nice le! loved it. got one more next wed le.. haha..
but i just hope that it will not rain on my birthday again. =)

its over! my first sem of the university. things to reflect: should do consistent work. haha. after the exams, i was quite shocked bah. i did not feel happy about it, maybe i was not happy with my last paper bah. the more you hope for it, the lower you will fall. maybe that's what happening to me bah, sadly. anyway, its over for now. i shall do my shopping, watch anime, cooking, etc. i shall stop thinking about it le. =)

i think its best if i don't hear my family stuff. somehow i like being alone.

about 24 hours till freedom! haha. i'm having mix feelings now. Partly because i haven completed my first revision yet. =/ and partly because i can't believe 3 weeks of hardwork is going to be finally over! it was like yesterday when i saw the calendar that i only had one month before the start of my exams. and now i left one day. haha.. the phrase " time waits for no one " is really apt here. been slacking for the whole morning.. bad headache again.. hmm.. wonder if there is any medicine that can cure these horrible headaches..

oh ya.. my weighting machines is abit spoil (i hope).. during these weeks of studying, even though i have make sure i have proper diet, enough fruits and veg and sleep.. i'm gaining weight! gosh.. i can't believe it.. and when my dad told me that the weighting machines is wrong.. have to add 2kg to it.. i almost faint.. haha.. okey bah.. one good thing is i'm heavier then i thought which is suppose to be good to everyone who knows me, cause they keep saying i'm thin, but to me.. i don't know la.. haha.. especially since last 2 days, my stomach keep feeling hungry.. to avoid gastric flu.. which was what i have thanks to my two days 1pm test.. (i'm not able to have food at proper timing), i ate some comfort food.

anyway.. ITS ONE MORE DAY BEFORE MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!! haha.. =)

haha.. 3 down.. 2 more to go.. and....... 3 more days! haha.. i want to thank God, my body and my mind and my soul for hanging on till that last minute, even though when things were bleak, (i had to chiong everything) they were still going strong, or trying to.. haha.. Plus my beloved family, for keeping all so quiet (well.. most of the time) when i'm studying.. and for allowing me to study at the hall.. This is the first time in my entire live, that i read most of my textbooks finished! (left the stats textbook) i'm proud of myself for doing that! =)

Many things i have to keep in mind if i can still have reasonable marks to stay in university.. Never do last minute study! everyone been saying it, and even i know it.. but knowing is a whole new world then doing it.. and thru this tough experience (which i think i almost collapse = abit exgerrated.. haha..) i managed to pull through.

gave myself a long long break yesterday, after my psychology test, ended at 3 plus. then i went to reward myself for days of hardwork, with a strawberry sundae. hehe.. wendy had strawberry sundae and double cheese burger.. (i think i influenced her into getting strawberry sundae le.. haha) then came home, do rest abit, then go wash clothes, and hang them (see i so good!). watched the new channel u 10pm show also.. its a MUST watch show.. haha.. after watching the first episode, it was so funny. i keep laughing.. even my dad love it.. =) even though i felt abit guilty inside, for not studying when my tests is on monday (i have 2 on the same day!) i felt that if i don't give my body a rest, i doubt i can concentrate much.. but resting time is over.. should start concentrating le.. or not all my efforts for the last few test will be gone.. (no matter what results i get)

yup.. so can't wait to after exams.. i'm going to work, bake, cook, watch show, shopping, and maybe read some books? haha.. and my oversea trip as well!

disclaimer: realised my blog become not so naggy.. haha.. i realised that after blogging so much about my problems, or about how bad things were.. why not blog about good stuff.. if i read it again, i will be smiling to myself.. haha.. =x and it will bring moods up also.. guess in life, i finally know how to look to the bright side. =)

patricia
05/12/1988
loves to be happy!


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