Friday, June 01, 2007 @9:20 AM
Wednesday - 30.05.2007
*yawns * recently been sleeping around 5hrs each day. Feeling tired, yet I cant stop or not my world will fall down on me and it will be even worst.
Many people does two jobs because they are in need of money. For me, it was for my interest. When people know I got two jobs, they would usually be shocked and say that it is very tiring. Actually I don’t think so, simple because I’m doing it for interest and not just cold hard cash. Even though it might drain my energy out of me, but I never regret once at all. I realized the big impact that interest can do to any of us. When we are interested in anything, we will go great extend to do it. In life, I have always try to find something to keep me going on, be it the great results, better future, great presents from my dad if I did well etc. But I guess the most important thing whether I’m satisfied with these achievements. People have different expectations of themselves so to others they did very well, but to the person it could be a different case.
Been feeling mood less for a very long time, days, months, years? I forgot, does not really matter anyway. Perhaps I’m just ignoring my feelings, or I forgotten how to identify my feelings. Basically I think too much! Haha.. I don’t deny that I do feel happy, sad, angry at times. But these feelings fade off, and I’m mood less again. Should it be this way? I realize while typing this that whenever I’m alone thinking, I will end up feeling sad. Self pitying? It’s a bad habit I guess. Happy times to me are the best, but they seem so short. Maybe is just me that’s the problem. How I actually face the world and myself. I can decide whether or not to be happy. So perhaps I chose the other one instead. It’s easier to feel sad for yourself then feeling happy? Sound weird but it could be true.
Funny. It seems that every blog I create, I will have an entry that is something like this. I don’t feel that I change much though. Haha. Knowing the problem but not curing it. Haha. This will be a hurdle I must learn to clear it, if I have the will to that is. Haha.
Will anyone ever be happy always, or for most of the time? I would want to learn from them.