Monday, June 25, 2007 @12:06 PM
am i very horrible? i'm suppose to be filial to my parents. to listen to them, and take care of them. etc. but my mum is always thinking negative thoughts, and whatever she say, most of it will have abit of negativity inside. to be specific, things it all sums up to other people might have ulterior motive for doing this etc. i understand that the world can be mean, unfair and backstabbers are everywhere. but i don't like to always be thinking or hearing about it. i prefer to have positive thoughts and to listen to positive stuff as well. i don't get it. why does my mum like to say bad about other people, or think about negative stuff. i think she changed. or maybe i have not been patient and caring as like last time. now, i feel very fustrated when i hear very loud voices, and what she say really gets to me at times. i try to keep it inside of me, but sometimes its too much to bear. so i rather stay away from home bah. but on the other hand, they will not be happy with me. they would keep saying that i always go out etc. and should be at home more. but why would i want to be at home when i will feel very sad, and uncomfortable. i don't like it. haiz. i don't know. i really don't know what will be the best solution. i want to stay at home to relax and enjoy. but everytime i stay at home, i get "scolded" or "said". i know i'm horrible to be thinking this way. haiz. i don't know.
anyway on a lighter note, i'm going fass camp tomor! will be in green grp, titans. haha.. having mix feelings le. scared most of all. hope everything will be fine. >.<