Sunday, June 03, 2007 @11:07 PM
~monday~
after two days of 8 hrs of sleep. i'm rested! i feel so much better compared to the last few days. Although trainings at starbucks is tough to me, i think that i'm much better emotionally now. I don't like to see disappointed face. I'm training in bugis junction, it can consider to be a quite high volume store. The place is quite big and i think many people have went there before. When i just started out in making the frap or the espresso drinks, i was horrible! I was slow, and i keep making mistakes, in cup markings and recipes. Gosh! i was horrible! Especially on my first day at the bar. Today was my second day at the bar, and i guess i did better. but i realised i had a problem. When there were alot of people that time, we had to "slam". and it was horrible for me! i will panic and forget about everything, and i feel that i'm a hindrance then a helper. >.<
i would rather just leave all of it to them. i am so scared about my bar test. i just hope i can do better.
its ironic that i'm actually feeling stressed out on work and not on studies. i always said that i'm not stressed. that i have not experienced stress before. but i think i will admit to it now. its horrible and luckily i managed to pull myself back? i hope. maybe i'm just adding stuff by stuff onto myself. such that i'm even losing myself. maybe that's why i felt so tired this week. think this week, i broke a record by crying everyday. haha.. >.< i want to rest and relax at home. but i cant cause i cant stand my home. its sad actually. whenever i'm at home, my mom always seem to pick on me telling me what i should do correctly or what i did wrongly, basically nagging at me. whenever i'm at home and i hear a quarrel, it really irritates me alot. i don't know why. last time i can always keep it inside, tolerating, but i feel hard for me now. maybe i'm losing my patience. i don't know. i realised i get irritated easily as well. maybe i have changed. i'm not the pat i used to be. haiz.. hope this is not true.. cause i prefer to me like my own self, patient, listening, smiling always.