Thursday, September 06, 2007 @2:34 PM
do i really want to gain weight? i think those who are concern that i'm too thin will be thinking about this question. i wont deny that i like being slim. in this influenical world, the ideology that thin = pretty still exist. and i believe in that too bah. but to me, being pretty is to have a pretty face. hehe. anyway. pris and wendy keep asking me to eat proper meals almost everytime they see me. know they are doing this for my own good. pris especially since she has been "nagging" at me for the past few months le. pei fu! i see a difference in myself also. still remembered the time where a small piece of bread can be my meal. so say 3 meals equal 3 small pieces of bread. thinking back, i'm very li hai! but maybe caused my stomach was not feeling well, got gas and constipation. haha. then changed to eating more fruits, and also wholemeal bread (healthy). slowly by slowly, eating more fruits and veg, and slowly having two proper meals, with fruits for dinner. at least recently i make sure i will eat lots of veg, my 3 meals and fish and egg, at times eat meat. of course there will be exceptions like if i work in starbucks then there is mark out of turkey and cramberry sandwich, i will have the whole thing for lunch (believe me, there is lots of turkey inside). i still don't really like eating oily stuff. but hey! growing fat does not have to mean i have to eat oily stuff.
realise from a forum that not good eating too much fruits. cause fruits has natural sugar = cause you to become fatter! if like this, isn't it ironic that i have been eating lot of fruits and not graining much weight? seems werid.
anyway. i'm much much much better le. but i don't understand why they keep thinking i'm torturing myself. "if i'm hungry i will still find for food de". >.< but no one seems to believe me. many atimes i feel that i'm torturing myself in a way that i'm full, but i'm stuffing myself with fruits cause i feel like eating. hehe. ah.. headache.
i have been experimenting on the places and timing for my optimal studying. my drive for studying is in me, but through some observation about myself, i conclude that i CANT study at home! i CANT study with friends, i HAVE to study in a place where there is nobody or little people, i CANT study in aircon places. i HAVE to try to sleep around or latest by 12 and wake up best is by 8am. let me explain
i CANT study at home - simply because there are too too much temptations for me, now the main temptation, though it still is to a certain extent, is not tv but is about fruits! haha. easy access to fruits mean a long day, very stuffed patricia. plus my sis and mum, does not really help much in keeping the house a quiet and condusive place to learn. but hey. its their right to stay at home and do what they want right?
i CANT study with friends - this i must clarify myself. i don't mean going out to study with friends. i mean, when i'm with friends and their talking, or doing someother stuff. its hard for me to just go to one corner or suddenly start studying. i feel funny and i think they will think that i'm a mugger for sure. its not veri nice also to study when i'm suppose to hang around with friends.
i HAVE to study in a place where there is nobody or little people - who say university is easy? i have to understand lots of stuff. so i prefer a nice and quiet place with no noise or music whatsoever so i can have my 100% concentration on it. plus i have so much to study. haiz. headache.
i CANT study in aircon places - the reason's simply: cause i'm scared of the cold. haha. and i get sleepy also.
i HAVE to try to sleep around or latest by 12 and wake up best is by 8am - my mum keep saying that the time when your brain really rest is from 12 to 2 or 3am. and i heard about it also, so to recover from my tired self, i have to try to stick to it for awhile. and wendy say the minimum time we have to sleep is 8 hours. plus pris say that lost of sleep leds to lost of memory and i can feel that my memory is deproving. HELP! so i got to be a good girl for awhile. hehe.
through this list, my options for places to study is so limited. was thinking about waking up in the early mornings then asking my dad to fetch me to pris house there. her house nearby is quite condusive, there's a field and a canal, not much people will walk pass also. and i like the shape of the tables. hehe. but problem is i got to wake up by 6am, so that my dad will be willing to fetch me. means i got to sleep by 10 plus or 11, so i wont feel sleepy in the morning, or it will be a wasted trip to go there and study. this brings about i have to pay for my lunch and dinner! which i'm very reluctent to cause been spending alot recently. once i go out with my oweek mates, close to $20 will fly away. plus i feel that i should try my best to pay for my transport, textbooks and clothing fees cause i'm working also. and i don't give money to my dad or he does not want it. so yup. headaches. hehe. i'm thinking too much again. >.<